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Happy Fathers Day
This is my dad, the best joker in the world. Who else would dance to “Re: Your Brains” (Jonathan Coulton’s Zombie song) at his daughter’s wedding? My dad, the legally blind man who taught me to drive a...
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Top Five Things I Have Learned About Babies
My daughter, Elizabeth West Firment, was born in early November. The last…ever since…has been a nonstop, nonsleep blur of boobs, love, fuss, and delirium. In the process, I have learned these five...
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Out in the daylight with a stroller
I’m sitting at a cafe with my infant daughter. I feel like a monster of productivity, having successfully left the house twice in one day, eaten actual meals, and avoided being covered in poo (for the...
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Books for busy mums and other humans
Reading has been a challenge lately, due to new baby and the delirium that accompanies around-the-clock breastfeeding. On the other hand, it has taken me three months to be able to comfortably leave...
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Parenthood by Percentages
In case anyone is interested in the relative effects of a New Baby, I ran a few numbers this morning. -65% Cussing -50% Cups of Coffee Consumed -98% Cups of Coffee Consumed While Still Warm -98%...
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A Parent’s Life as a Video Game
I work in the video game industry, so I tend to think of life in these terms. For example, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I realized that pregnancy is essentially a really immersive...
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Things that now qualify as “me time”
Breastpumping My commute to work Taking a shower The three block walk to return my library books Sleeping Leaning on my similarly exhausted husband and staring vacantly at something on a screen...
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Data munging
Recently I’ve been importing the ancient Librarian Avengers archives to live within WordPress. Because the site goes back to…hrm… 1997, there’s some data munging to do. Right now I’m concerning myself...
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Tube Food
My young daughter is eating solid food. She has two lower teeth, which she uses to great effect, scraping away like a reverse-squirrel. This is an exciting time for my husband and I, since we get to...
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The IRS was kind to us
Yes, that was my letter from the IRS. I misfiled our tax extension. My husband, who is hilarious, wrote a letter to the IRS asking for clemency due to new-baby-induced Jello Brain. The IRS, who are...
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My kid’s talent show program in the form of snarky texts to my dad
Name Redacted Elementary SchoolSpring 2019 • No early exit please I have no idea what is happening in this play but I think someone is a dog Uh oh music stand onstage Two fourth grade girls capably...
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